Talk about the living dead

I recently read a post from X on sleep deprivation.
As much as I feel pity for the lad, I couldn't help thinking that he doesn't know how good he's got it.
I only say this coz of a report I heard about a year ago. It sounds unbelievable but if true , at the very least, challenges our whole understanding of the functions of sleep.
How bored is she?
I'm thinking about giving her a call on behalf of my employers.
At least then she'll be able to entertain herself by having a bet on the Yankees to beat the Red Sox at 3am (Eternal).

Blah Blah Blah

Apart from X, nobody seems to update their blogs lately.
Where are you all and why am I the only saddo still to be writing stuff?

Come back , for **** sake. I'm bored.

After all, a blog is for life, not just for when you feel like it.

God, I feel sick 2

Every childs worst nightmare happened to this young fella.

He will never recover. How can you?

God, I feel sick

You maybe surprised to hear this, but I have never met anyone who is comfortable at the thought of their parents having sex.
The usual response is "the squirm".
I'm no different, so I was a little repulsed when a friend of mine asked me when I was conceived.
Instantly my mind created a ma riding pa image in full technicolour and surround sound.

"Ew" I said. "Why do you wanna know that?"
"Just tell me" said my friend.

I reluctantly told him and was quickly informed that the British number 1 at the time of my conception was "Puppy Love" sung by Donny Osmond.

You can probably imagine how I felt at that moment.
There are some things in this life that you shouldn't know.
In my opinion , this was one of them.

However, if you feel you need to know which tragic one hit wonder your parents were likely shagging too when your little self was created, be my guest.

Just don't come running to me when you learn that your folks created you during a wild session listening to Joe Dolce's "Shut up ya face"!

Always the last to know.

When I was about 19 , I went to Crewe and Alsager College to study P.E. teaching (I still can't believe that).
I was a little homophobic at that time.
Well to be perfectly honest , being a very late starter and having no real opinions of my own, I shared my friends mentality.
I didn't realise that C and A college had more gay students per person than any other University in the Country. It was kinda like an intellectual Brighton.
As the months went by , I kept finding out that people I knew were gay.
Finally , when I found out that my good friend Sandra (not her real name) was gay it sunk into my neanderthal skull that it simply didn't matter.
Anyway, I returned back to sunny Bournemouth a changed man (Actually in hindsight just a man).
One night , myself and my two good friends were playing some stupid drinking game. Out of the blue my best mate darren asked "so are you gay or what?"
I was so taken aback that I didn't answer immediately. I sat down on the floor, wondering how to answer. I knew the answer was that I was straight but didn't feel that I wanted to tell them.
Of course, this reaction to the question almost confirmed there suspicions.
Eventually, I got up and told them that I was straight.
I thought that was the end of it, but as the months and years went by , it became blatantly obvious that most of my friends had always believed that I was gay.
My problem is simple.

1. I refuse to play the male bullshit games which mean I can't say when I think a bloke in a pub is good looking (I notice out of pure jealousy usually).

2. If you were to ask me who the best looking woman I have ever seen is, I couldn't tell you. I mean, there are so many of them with a plethora (I think that is a more impressive word than myriad) of attractive qualities. (Actually recently I realised that its Keira Knightley, rightly or wrongly).
However, I know that Johnny Depp is without doubt the best looking bloke ever.

3. I'm not exactly the most masculine bloke in the world.


None of this bothered me until I took this test yesterday.

Even when my good friend Kath said I was gay for not making it last weekend (My car was broken) I wasn't bothered.

My question is simple, why didn't anybody tell me?

If music be the food of love, play on

The internet , as we all know , is a wonderful tool for so many things.
We can find holidays, who uttered famous phrases and even place bets.
Sadly, there are many not so useful/tasteful uses for the internet. We know about these too.

When a friend of mine send me this magical link I didn't know if I liked it or hated it.

A few weeks on , I love it. It's the purest form of musical talent available anywhere today.

Turn up to volume 10 and just be happy.

King Crimson

Play this game if you want. Apparently the boys at FHM magazine spent 48 hours trying to get out of that room. It took me 3 hours on a very boring day at work.
Now I know I'm no genius so those guys must be real Joeys.
Anyway, you will get stuck and you will lose the will to live but you will escape.
Oh , BTW (I know what that means now). Thanku to Rich for enhancing my blogging skills on this post.
Enjoy or Hate.