Dreamin of a white Christmas

My mate Danny Robins (well actually he's a schoolfriend of Richards but we're on first name terms so...) called me at work today to ask me if I'd appear on his radio 1 show on Friday morn.

My task was to give him an idea what the appropriate prices would be for the songs he played, to be Xmas number 1 this year (grammatical crap but no bother).

He played me The Crazy frog, Nizlopi (the JCB song), Cold Play and his own novelty record called Winterval.

I kinda got caught on the hop coz although he called me 30 mins earlier to prepare, a busy afternoon at S.J. meant very little homework.

I just hope I don't sound like the idiot I am although I usually sound like a pre-pubescent boy on the phone so perhaps I would prefer to sound like a twat.

For some reason, I adopted a Fluff Freeman not arf kinda voice for the interview.

I just couldn't help it.

Anyway, the show goes out on Friday Morning from 3:00 a.m. so if you wanna here an ex bookie talkin shop tune in.

Oh, and the bit where Danny asks me "if the crazy frog was a horse where would it finish?" and I answered "Still running", I wanted to say "it will still be running boxing day danny".

What can I say, I froze, it being my radio debut and all.

Please God, don't let Moyles get hold of it.

Double Vision

Do you prefer the bloke on the left or the gal on the right?

Yeah, I know they're no beauties but being a hetro, I like the gal on the right.

Now step back from your P.C./ laptop and look again. Go on, try it.

Urghh. Who's the guy on the right.

He's so not my type.

Bizarre twist of fate

I know I won't be the only person to be writing a blog article on George Best today, but as I'm a football obsessive I feel it is my duty to chuck in my two pence worth.

My Dad (he who is responsible for my terrible affliction) believes that George Best was the greatest football player ever.

Although I don't agree, (1st Diego, 2nd Zidane, 3rd Ronaldinho) it has to be said that he was one of the most incredibly skillful players ever to have graced a football pitch.

Sadly, I only have one real life memory of the Great G.B.

Myself and my Dad went to see the last professional match he ever played in at Dean Court (A.F.C. Bournemouth).

All I remember is the Kick-off and the following 10 seconds.

Bournemouth Kicked off and rolled the ball back to George who was standing on the edge of the Centre Circle. George stood on the ball...... and fell over.

There then followed a roar of laughter which seemed to last about 5 minutes.

True, he was a washed up superstar and yes he very probably was pissed at the time.

No matter, I saw him live and although I can't remember anything about the game (except the aforementioned horror show) I'm proud to have seen the great man live.

On any other day I probably wouldn't type any more.

However, today is different.

My work colleague (Millers is his name) pointed out the incredible irony of it all.

George Best died the day after the UK started 24 hour drinking.

Goodbye George, perhaps now you'll be able to play football with Cloughie in Clouds

Who's the Daddy?

The answer is Darren (My Bestest mate from back home in sunny Bournemouth).

He is now the proud father of a little girl.

She was born today at 17:33 and weighed in at 7lb and 7oz.

Ma and bab doing very well thankyou.

Aaaaah, my best mate is a daddy.

Goodbye My Love

Finally, finally I've got a job near Brighton.

It is a good job coz I'll be working for the tenth biggest company in the world.

I'll be working as a Customer Services Advisor and doing a bit of warm selling aswell.

No, it's not the sort of job I wanna do for the rest of my days. Au contraire mes amies.

The point is, it gets me down to Brighton so that me and super lisa can have normal lives again.

When I'm there I can look for a job which will fill my heart with joy. Something sporty no doubt.

Of course, I've had to take a huge paycut (somewhere in the region of £9000) but at least I've still got my dignity.

My first day at my new place of employment will be Monday 5th December which means that my last day at Stan James will be Friday 2nd December.

So this is it. My great bookmaking romance is no more.

It's been a long kiss goodnight (I love that movie. I mean how good is Samuel L Jackson and how Sassy does Geena Davies look when she changes into assasin bleach hair hard bitch?).

It took me a while to make the decision, and now I've made it, I feel relieved.

So thankyou Stan James. You've given me a fantastic schooling in the art (and it is an art) of gambling.

So, as the sun sets slowly in the west I bid a fond farewell.

Pension Smension

So I didn't get the job working for the stinky Pension Regulator in Brighton.

Apparently, I didn't have the experience to be a front line Pensions Regulator telephonist/Customer Services type person.

I didn't want that stupid job anyway.

So, I'm still looking and I'm still applying to everything that pays £18000+.

A few of my friends have suggested I become a rent boy and if thinks continue like this, my girlfriend will be paying my rent.

Billy Goats Snuff

Some of you may have heard of this phenomenon but it was new to me.

Laugh, I nearly shat myself.

So, for all you people who have never seen this before, just sit back and enjoy.

You won't regret it!