Monday, January 30, 2006

The day the Musical died

Went to see "We will rock you" in the big smoke at the weekend.

I'm sure everyone knows that I don't like musicals but this one took the piss.

It was shit from start to finish. The storyline was pitiful, they changed some of the lyrics of the songs and the lead female character kept cracking the same old anti male gags.

If I had paid for the ticket, I would have wanted to go back stage and give Ben Elton the money in person.

Don't ever watch it. It's insulting

But there was one good bit.
Gonna have to set the scene first though.

The musical is about a futuristic time when all musical instruments are banned. The only access to music is computer generated synthesised pop. The establishment are rounding up rebels who attempt to play and condemning them to death.

The music police caught Brian May and condemned him to death.
When asked if he had any last wish , Brian replied "I want to play one last guitar solo".

He played for 3 and a half days.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Here's to the next 50.

Me and Super Lisa have been together for 5 years tomorrow. It's been a pleasure coz she's kinda laid back like me and we sort of like the same stuff.

Actually, that's not entirely true.

For me football is king.

For superlisa old buildings is King.

No matter, I hope I speak for us both when I say that we are happy with our relationship and it's got even easier since I started working normal hours.

So Happy Anni Gf. May there be another 50 years in us at least.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Fuck off you homeless , vandallising , drunk Fucks.

I love Brighton coz there is so much to do and the City is really multi cultural too.

Unfortunately , in our rush to secure a flat , me and super lisa committed the carnal sin of renting in a bad area of town.

It is full of drunks and many mornings they leave a little vomit pool or two just outside our door.

As much as I feel copious amounts of pity for them (don't know if that's what they are after or not) I hate it when they fuck my shit up.

This morning when I awoke, SuperLisa called me from her car. Some fucker had tried to leaver her passenger door open to get inside.

Although they didn't manage to get into her car and steel her extremely expensive radio/ cassette player , they did manage to properly fuck her door.

Fuck off , Fuck off and Fuck off some more. I'm sick of your shit.

P.S. Hope you find somewhere to stay tonight coz it's cold out there. No really, I do and it is.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Ethics, what ethics? It's great T.V. man!

Last night myself and SuperLisa sat down to watch "The Heist".

It was a show conceived in the mind of Derren Brown (A very dark place indeed).

They put an advert in local newspapers looking for people to take part in a Motivational Techniques seminar.

All the people who applied were whittled down to about 12 people (probably via apptitude and other such tests).

The select few were then told that the seminar would be conducted by Mr Brown himself at a plush Hotel.

Over a few days, Derren implanted ideas and controlling strategies into these peoples heads in order to get these law abiding citizens to commit armed robbery.

He did the usual stuff like having an annoying security guard on the door of the hotel , a painting of the green Security van that would be used and getting these decent people to walk into a shop a steel sweets and stuff.

At one point in the show he set up the old 1960's Milgram obedience/compliance/conformity experiment (you know, the one where Milgram put the subjects in a room with just a scientist looking man in a white coat, who told the subjects to administer increasingly powerful electric shocks to a man next door if he got answers to questions wrong. Of course the man next door was just acting but the subjects didn't know that.

According to Mr Brown , as in Milgrams experiment conducted decades previously, 50% of the subjects kept administering electric shocks to the man next door up to the maximum of 450 volts despite hearing the cries of pain, just because the man in the white coat told them to continue with the experiment.

3 things about this part of the show,

1. One of the girls was so traumatised by what she had done (after being told that it was just to see how far they would go) that she had to have a special session with Derren (I bet she did Derren).

2. One of the lads was complaining to the man in the white suit that there should be higher voltage switches (yes, higher than 450 volts) after he had reached the max. W.L.T.M.

3. How the fuck did Channel 4 get ethical approval for this?

It seems a bit daft but having whittled down the 12 contestants to just 4 (those who Derren thought would be most impressionable) he and his team set up the 4 (on an individual basis) in a scenario where the opportunity had arisen to rob a security guard with a toy gun in a deserted London street.

Astonishingly 3 out of the 4 robbed the guard with the gun and ran down the street with the cash.

It just goes to show how incredibly fucking weak we all are.

Authoritarians say.

We do.

That's it. All through history it's the same.

I know all about the Nazi Nuremberg trials when the judge famously said "every immoral Law must be disobeyed" (or something to that effect).
Sounds easy doesn't it?

Don't get me wrong.

I agree with this philosophy.

I just think that it might get a little harder to make that call with a gun held to your head.

I mean, How the fuck are we expected to live up to the high moral standards which we have created for ourselves when a man such as Derren Brown and Joe public in a white coat can get us to do unspeakable acts.

Humans are pathetic.

I am human.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Who's the Daddy 2?

This time his name is Leigh Haywood. Another friend of mine from my home town. I think he had a daughter too.
Aaaah, how sweet it is that all my friends are becoming parents.
The question is, am I ready yet?

Yeah, right!