What's up Doc?

A recent post by kate had a link to some London e-mail to email thing.

On it was a link to some piss take album which apparently has sold out or something (mainly coz its so good).

Even though , I'm probably way behind the times I thought it deserved some attention for all you people who have speakers and like myself need a little entertainment at work.

A mate of mind sent me this link months ago. I'd forgotten about it until today.

Apparently, it was composed by a couple of doctors who became disgruntled at their profession.

Anyway, hope you like it.

Ndcowutno

Richard Whiteley has died today at the age of 61.

Like many ex students, he was a big part of my life (Him and William G) for many years.

He will be sorely missed.

The River Barron

As we all know , poker popularity is growing and is slowly but surely turning into a world wide monster.

If you've got sky or cable , it is perfectly possible to watch poker tournaments 24/7 until the end of time.

Although I don't play, I do find myself getting incredibly excited when someone has gone all in needing the queen of diamonds on the river and getting it. It's theatre of the nth dgree.

My mate at work (Robber stabber barron) is at Uni at Loughbrough. He loves his beer and he loves his betting.
He's also quite useful at Texas Hold'em as you can see from the following link.

As a result of his Uni success, he went down to The Big Smoke to compete with the big boys.
Sadly, he didn't fair quite so well and was knocked out early on in the proceedings after goung all in and getting called.

Never mind Rob.

You're still my pokerman.

Are you taking the piss too?

Get it, its like Look who's talking and Look who's talking too or 2. Depending on whether you mean aswell or sequel.

Anyway, the reason this post is entitled Are you taking the piss too is coz Maurice knows perfectly well that I can't read books.
They bore me , you see.
Anyway, I think I've outdone myself this time with the following:


1. Number of books I own.
I think its about 30. Most I haven't read and never will read.

2. Last book I bought.
I think the last book I bought was Wuthering heights about 8 years ago. It seemed to go very well with being an Ice-cream man at Bournemouth Pier. It did, the ladies loved it and curiously, so did I.

3. Last book I read.
The last book I read was Sallingers masterpiece , Catcher in the rye.I always wanted to read this coz it was apparently the book that Mark Chapman was reading when he shot the man Lennon. An odd reason I know, but I figure any reason thats gets me reading novels rather than The Sun can only be a good thing.

4. Five books that mean a lot to me
This one is gonna be a close call.
a) The Republic (Plato). This was a great book. I don't think it was supposed to be funny, but it made me LOL.

b) Wuthering Heights. Please See above.

c) Catcher in the Rye. This means a lot to me coz it stopped me going crazy when I was working for Ladbrokes in South West London.Why don't these idiots realise that people only gamble when they've got no money.Who the fuck needs to gamble in Richmond upon Thames. Morons!

d) Chariots of the Gods (Eric Von Danniken)
My Greek mate Jorg (who loves his conspiracies and who is now in the Green Army doing National Service. Ha Ha, he's so unfit and lazy he'll never make it out alive) told me to read this. It is a good read and there are some interesting theories in it. Course, its all shit, but nice shit (Cool!! My first Oxymoron of the day).

e) Uhmm, Err, Two Kill a Mockingbird. Harper Lee (didn't even have to look that up on google or anything. God Bless you William G). I read it for GCSE. Got an A grade for my essay. How good was I?

Not good. Not good at all.

Jamie Redknapp

Jamie has today announced his retirement from football due to a persistent knee injury.

Those who know me , also know that I was in the same year as Jamie at school although I rarely took classes with him as he was in a lower band.

As the years have gone on I've realised that although Jamie is not the sharpest tool in the box, he does appear to be more intelligent than I originally thought.
He is a regular pundit for the BBC and is one of the few footballers who manage to talk about our game without including a football cliche every other word.

At the end of the day , he speaks more intelligently than I ever imagined he would, despite his academic background.

In all honesty , I shouldn't be surprised that he didn't really achieve anything at school. (I hope I'm not doing him a disservice)
Everybody knew he was Harry's son and that all he wanted to do was play the beautiful game for a living.

I remember watching Jamie (or Redders as we used to call him) flicking a ball up and down in the corridor when he should have been in lessons. Nobody cared about his education. Why should they? ( Hold on one moment, they should care, it's their job)

I believe the consequences of this were that he was never really given a chance to achieve anything in academia.

I'm not saying he could have worked for a bookmaker or anything super intelligent like that, but I do think he could have done better than he did.

Anyway, me and him didn't really get on at school.
I'd like to say that it was because we were both very good at sport , so I will , coz we were.

I didn't make it and he did.

At one stage in his career , it looked like he may actually become one of the Great Playmakers.
I thought he was that good! (without bias)

I suppose my only criticism would be that he always wanted to play safe and therefore played a few too many square balls for my liking.
That was a pity, coz I know he had the ability to play the little diagonal balls which can unlock tight defences.

Still , he managed to play several times for his country and scored an absolute screamer in a friendly against Belgium (I think) in addition to being Liverpool club captain and spokesman for many years.

Unfortunately, due to constant injuries, he never managed to reach the heights I thought he might. I'm sorry about that, I really am.

But lets be honest, it's not all bad news.

He's got a beautiful wife (I hope he doesn't mind me saying that. He shouldn't do. She is) and he looks like he's going to have a very successful career ahead of him talking about football all day.

Mmmmm Football.

Are you taking the piss?

I decided to put my name in Google t'other day when I was bored at work.

Google came up with various references including this one.

I don't know who this guy thinks he is, but he wants to have a pretty damn good lawyer or know some hard arse friends.

I don't mind telling you that I'm pissed off about this.

I'm sure he's a stand up kinda guy who likes his M n M's but to claim he is the real grant jones is a bit cheeky.

Who'd have thought he'd be so slick

Got some great news yesterday.
My friends Cath and Mark are getting married in the Summer of 07.
These two have been together since the early days of Greenwich Uni and are a match made in South London.
Now, I'm not a great believer in the Big M but I do appreciate the romance which surrounds it.
Particularly when the proposal instigator is so incredibly slick.

Mark and Cath had been out for a nice meal and had decided to go for a post dinner wander through the park.

Suddenly, Mark got down on one knee and popped the question.

Cath said yes, but within seconds Mark was on his mobile.

"Ok Boys , Hit it"

No sooner had those words left his lips, Fireworks were set off behind them by our friends Ben and Stuart.

How classy is that?

Play Me

Yet another great but incredibly frustrating game has come to my attention.
It'll drive you mad but with a little persistence you will get there.