Are you taking the piss too?

Get it, its like Look who's talking and Look who's talking too or 2. Depending on whether you mean aswell or sequel.

Anyway, the reason this post is entitled Are you taking the piss too is coz Maurice knows perfectly well that I can't read books.
They bore me , you see.
Anyway, I think I've outdone myself this time with the following:


1. Number of books I own.
I think its about 30. Most I haven't read and never will read.

2. Last book I bought.
I think the last book I bought was Wuthering heights about 8 years ago. It seemed to go very well with being an Ice-cream man at Bournemouth Pier. It did, the ladies loved it and curiously, so did I.

3. Last book I read.
The last book I read was Sallingers masterpiece , Catcher in the rye.I always wanted to read this coz it was apparently the book that Mark Chapman was reading when he shot the man Lennon. An odd reason I know, but I figure any reason thats gets me reading novels rather than The Sun can only be a good thing.

4. Five books that mean a lot to me
This one is gonna be a close call.
a) The Republic (Plato). This was a great book. I don't think it was supposed to be funny, but it made me LOL.

b) Wuthering Heights. Please See above.

c) Catcher in the Rye. This means a lot to me coz it stopped me going crazy when I was working for Ladbrokes in South West London.Why don't these idiots realise that people only gamble when they've got no money.Who the fuck needs to gamble in Richmond upon Thames. Morons!

d) Chariots of the Gods (Eric Von Danniken)
My Greek mate Jorg (who loves his conspiracies and who is now in the Green Army doing National Service. Ha Ha, he's so unfit and lazy he'll never make it out alive) told me to read this. It is a good read and there are some interesting theories in it. Course, its all shit, but nice shit (Cool!! My first Oxymoron of the day).

e) Uhmm, Err, Two Kill a Mockingbird. Harper Lee (didn't even have to look that up on google or anything. God Bless you William G). I read it for GCSE. Got an A grade for my essay. How good was I?

Not good. Not good at all.