Always the last to know.

When I was about 19 , I went to Crewe and Alsager College to study P.E. teaching (I still can't believe that).
I was a little homophobic at that time.
Well to be perfectly honest , being a very late starter and having no real opinions of my own, I shared my friends mentality.
I didn't realise that C and A college had more gay students per person than any other University in the Country. It was kinda like an intellectual Brighton.
As the months went by , I kept finding out that people I knew were gay.
Finally , when I found out that my good friend Sandra (not her real name) was gay it sunk into my neanderthal skull that it simply didn't matter.
Anyway, I returned back to sunny Bournemouth a changed man (Actually in hindsight just a man).
One night , myself and my two good friends were playing some stupid drinking game. Out of the blue my best mate darren asked "so are you gay or what?"
I was so taken aback that I didn't answer immediately. I sat down on the floor, wondering how to answer. I knew the answer was that I was straight but didn't feel that I wanted to tell them.
Of course, this reaction to the question almost confirmed there suspicions.
Eventually, I got up and told them that I was straight.
I thought that was the end of it, but as the months and years went by , it became blatantly obvious that most of my friends had always believed that I was gay.
My problem is simple.

1. I refuse to play the male bullshit games which mean I can't say when I think a bloke in a pub is good looking (I notice out of pure jealousy usually).

2. If you were to ask me who the best looking woman I have ever seen is, I couldn't tell you. I mean, there are so many of them with a plethora (I think that is a more impressive word than myriad) of attractive qualities. (Actually recently I realised that its Keira Knightley, rightly or wrongly).
However, I know that Johnny Depp is without doubt the best looking bloke ever.

3. I'm not exactly the most masculine bloke in the world.


None of this bothered me until I took this test yesterday.

Even when my good friend Kath said I was gay for not making it last weekend (My car was broken) I wasn't bothered.

My question is simple, why didn't anybody tell me?