Hell(but not)as You know it

What an event. Could it get any better? For those who know about the Greek Cypriot wedding I went to at the weekend don't bother with the rest of this paragraph, for those that didn't know..... Fuck me backwards, those Greeks certainly know how to party.
The day of my mate Georges wedding to the lovely Ndina was supposed to start at 2:45 with a Traditional Greek Wedding service. We got the traditional service alright. It was so traditional that they didn't bother turning up til 3:30. According to the Groom (I can't think of a more appropriate word to describe George) everyone was late coz of a crash on the motorway. Chinny reckon. Those bubbles were drinking that cold coffee shit and playing backgammon whilst explaining to anyone not greek that milk , honey , rubbish , gentleman , football and pie are actually all Greek words.
The wedding ceremony itself was a little odd. It didn't help that it was all in their mother tongue (except for the odd th th th th Chrissy Waddle) so I decided to follow the Greeks lead. Apparently it was all Greek to them too as they were also unaware whether they should stand up or sit down. The ceremony ended with the release of a pitying of doves (that is correct) from a cage outside the church. I'm not quite sure what this is supposed to symbolise but what I do know is that they were FUCKING PIGEONS.
The reception was extremely entertaining. 400 Greeks and 50 Others ate and drank their fill before dancing the night away Greek stylee. At one point all the blokes formed a ring whilst others danced in the middle. I have to admit, I was tempted to go in the middle too but I didn't want them to think that I was taking the piss.
The pinacle of the night was obviously the pinning of wads of cash on the bride and groom. This event was accompanied by traditional Greek music although I did think it would have been more appropriate to hear "baby I've got your money don't you worry" blaring out.
And that was that, all over. Can you believe that the gun holstered little guy who used to cruise around in his white escort with G-style (Yep, that's G-Style) at the top of his windscreen is now married.
Well no, in all honesty I can't believe it. He is Gay , right.